March 30th, 2011

Как мучать менеджера проектов :-)

Скотт Беркун (Scott Berkun) рекомендует несколько способов сделать жизнь менеджера проектов невыносимой. В некоторых  крупных компаниях эти рекомендации, думаю, являются регламентными документами. :-)

How to torture your project manager

If you like your project manager, this is a list of things not to do.  But if they really deserve it, here are proven ways to drive them mad.
  1.     Never give specific odds or probabilities. Always make ambiguous commitments like “Probably”, “we may be able to do that” or “it’s possible”.
  2.     Demand everything ASAP, instead of by an actual deadline.
  3.     Agree to a decision. Then the next time its mentioned, pretended you have no idea what they are talking about.
  4.     Take surprise week long vacations.
  5.     Do not disagree directly. Wait until you are both in the presence of their boss, or bosses boss, and intensely disagree then.
  6.     Blame them for everything, but never give them any power.
  7.     Accept meeting requests immediately, but don’t ever show up.
  8.     Avoid short phone conversations in favor of obfuscated 20 email long multi-person threads.
  9.     Once a week, try to do one of: double the scope, slash the schedule in half, discover a new stakeholder.
  10.     Break into their schedule spreadsheet at night, and replace all the estimates with random numbers.
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Ранее в сериале: История первая: договор Ариадны История вторая: лыжи, смоктульки и чаевые История третья: мертвец и розетка ​*** — Послушай, Леша, послушай меня, милый мой друг. Ты же менеджер проектов, так? Ты же не дебил, правильно? Я тебе на пальцах объясняю, а ты понять не можешь.…